The audacity of the world! Billboards litter the highway, traffic continues its normal course, Christmas music persists in radiating from the radio. There is no cessation, no pause, no moment of respite for the tragedy that has so freshly occurred. The irreverence of life to persist without reflection on your passing into eternity is inexcusable. You were so vibrant, so full of life and laughter–now silence.

You were only 62. You didn’t smoke, you didn’t drink, you lived healthier than most Americans, you were the best of us, yet cut short. Meanwhile, those guilty of genocide live to be 100. Dictators into their 90s. People undeserving of continued breath still roam this earth. My soul resonates with the frustrated lament of the Psalmist: “Meanwhile, I’ve kept my heart pure for no good reason; I’ve washed my hands to stay innocent for nothing. I’m weighed down all day long. I’m punished every morning.”

And it would be easy to sit there, but the Psalm continues: “If I said, “I will talk about all this,” I would have been unfaithful to your children. But when I tried to understand these things, it just seemed like hard work until I entered God’s sanctuary and understood what would happen to the wicked.”

You see Mutti, unlike the evil of the world, your legacy is one of lasting, positive change. You did not sit by as darkness and evil consumed your immediate world. Like a city on a hill, you shown the love of God to all around you. Like your name’s sake, you rose on the horizon of those around you, dispelling the gloomy night of the world. You had a genuine love for others, a concern for their needs, and passion to do all you could. You were a saint.

Not the miracle working kind, not the fire from heaven sort, but the kind of saint the world is in desperate need of. For you see, “Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.” Never did someone in my life demonstrate that truth more than you. The love of God shown so pure and genuine from you. A love that was compassionate, sacrificial, accepting, encouraging.

Your candle has been extinguished, but rest assured that you have lit so many other candles. Your labour was not in vain. Those you so diligently loved and cared for will carry the torch further to those around us. We will emulate your Christ-like love and compassion and passion.

I love you Mutti. I’ll see you again. And until then, I’ll march forward with the fire you helped flame in me, and so many others.